Category Archives: Develop Your Confidence

Raise Self Esteem To Achieve More In Life

Within today’s image conscious society, you will need to do all that you can to raise self esteem in yourself and those people you care about. Oftentimes, you’re made to feel inadequate simply because you do not wear the latest styles or drive a high class car. The truth is you are a deserving human being even not having those products. If you happen to suffer from low self esteem, here are four things you can do to rise above it.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Individuals: It is unfortunate but many people start out comparing themselves to other individuals when they are young. Their parents, or several other loved ones, will tell them that they aren’t as good as somebody else and that they should really try to be more like them in the effort to get them to improve in conduct or skill.

The problem with this is there will generally be people who are better than you at an activity, have access to extra options, or are in a superior job situation. Comparing yourself to other individuals is really a self-defeating and pointless act. Delight in your very own strengths and very good traits.

Remember Your Successes: One more way you can raise self esteem is to consider when you attained an objective or acquired other positive results in life. Far too often we reflect on the occasions when we failed and we begin to think that we can do absolutely nothing right. The truth is that you’ve probably had just as many successes in life as you have had setbacks. Take out a piece of paper and start writing them down and examine them anytime you start to truly feel bad about yourself.

Associate with Constructive Individuals: Negative people are individuals who exclusively see what is completely wrong with the world. If you happen to associate with those who are negative, pessimistic, and have a bad frame of mind, you’ll absorb these traits into yourself. This may lead to judging everything around you as poor as well as your own self. Preferably, associate with constructive and supportive individuals. Their great nature will enable you to really feel better about everyday life and yourself.

Give Back: One of the most effective ways to improve your self esteem would be to make a constructive contribution to something. This goes beyond giving funds. Volunteering and assisting others will help you really feel good about the positive difference that you are producing in other people’s lives. You will find lots of options available. Look around your local area for associations or programs that need to have an extra set of hands.

It may require some time before you raise self esteem great enough that it is apparent. Nevertheless, with concerted, daily effort you are going to really feel much better about yourself before you realize it.

Do you want to learn how to build self confidence and improve your life? Be sure to visit my site to learn about the steps you can take to use the law of attraction.

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What Are Some Causes Of Low Self Esteem?

Having a low self-esteem can be a problem that can pursue you through your entire life. It can prevent you from gaining successes in other news way you might otherwise have done very well. It can cause you to become nervous and to lose your confidence in different social settings. It can have a very serious effect upon your life overall, and it is best to battle low self-esteem at its roots. But what exactly are the main causes of low self esteem?

Well, low self-esteem can be as result of many things, and will always result in a feeling of inferiority. One such cause that will result in this feeling will be due to looks. Some people are blessed with good looks while others simply are not. Those that are not can often feel a lot less of themselves when they compare how they look against how others do.

Those who feel they are not very good-looking will look at others who are and this will cause them to lose confidence and feel inferior. This is also a growing problem in modern society where we live in a celebrity obsessed culture. With this obsession with beautiful people all over the world, more and more people are beginning to feel worse within their own skin, and this is certainly not something that we should be advocating.

In the same way as how people will feel bad about themselves to their looks, intelligence is also another serious factor that can affect the way someone feels. If you feel unintelligent compare to your peers then this can lead to a loss of confidence and a buildup of poor self-esteem.

Once again, this sort of situation can lead to people with brain themselves from regular society. They will fail to grasp opportunities because they think they will fail and they will shy away from social situations where their perceived lack of intelligence will be on display.

It is, however, ironic to see that pretty much anyone can suffer from low self-esteem regardless of how they actually look or how intelligent they are. While many people will have low self-esteem due to these factors, even those who rate high in these categories can still develop the problem. This is because deep rooted issues can cause a real effect. For example, if someone was constantly told that they were stupid by their parents, they may continue to believe it as they get older regardless of what they achieve and what they do.

Whatever the cause, low self-esteem is something that can damage someone’s life dramatically, and as such anyone suffering from this problem should seek to get some help in order to move through it.

If you are suffering from low self esteem , or simply do not feel that you are fulfilling your potential, you should visit the Ministry of Inspiration. It is not a self-help program based on setting goals and overcoming past experiences, it is a completely new and unique idea and so if you want to achieve genuine happiness, it’s worth a look



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What is Self Esteem and How to Tackle Self Esteem Issues

Self esteem is defined as how a person perceives one’s self. These days quite a number of people suffer from self esteem issues, which can exacerbate into more serious health problems like anxiety attacks and depression. These issues are often caused by an overwhelming sense of negativity that people cannot seem to shake off no matter how hard they try. This article will endeavour to explain the underlying issues that have an impact on self esteem, and how one may overcome these problems easily.

It is not uncommon for people to suffer from self esteem related issues every now and then. It only becomes a problem when the issues drag on and worsen over time, and the person ends up developing mental health issues. Low self esteem problems usually begin when your perspective about yourself and the world around you changes and goes on a negative spiral. This can happen when you receive negative criticism about yourself, or blamed for something that you believe you were not a part of. This can also happen if something traumatic had occurred in your formative years that triggers a sense of self loathing.

But the thing you should know is that being adversely affected by the negative things that people might say will do you no good at all. As an adult, you should have the ability to filter out the good from the bad, so whenever someone gives you a negative feedback or criticism you have the choice of either taking it to heart or shrugging it off. If you truly believe that the other person is trying to give you some sensible advice, then consider their words carefully, introspect, and then move on. Do not linger on negative notions and allow them to affect your sense of self worth.

In order to build up a solid, unshakable self esteem, you need to take several things into consideration. The first thing you should always do is be constantly aware of what is being said to you. Do not always take what others say as a put down. Not all criticisms are negative, and if you know who your true friends are, you will know that the criticism is meant to make you a better person.

The second thing you need to do is to always think that the problem does not always necessarily lie with you, but with the critic. Most people tend to make negative comments to make themselves feel good. These people feed off of the negativity that they breed in others, they are prideful to a fault and will always try to make themselves feel better by making someone feel worse off. You need to identify these types of people, and stay away from them if possible.

If staying away from these negative people is not possible, then you should consider this last tip: Be assertive. You need to show them that they do not have any power over you, and that they cannot feed off of your negativity. You can counteract their negative comments with these simple words: “I am sorry you feel that way.” This is a way of showing that you will not allow their comments to affect you negatively.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to love yourself. Love yourself, and you will find that you would have built up an impenetrable suit of armour comprising of solid self esteem.

Click Here to grab your FREE “Unleashing Your Inner Confidence In 5 Easy Steps” Report. Achieve success in life with these proven and tested techniques to allow yourself to be more confident in anything you do. Building Self Confidence was never this easy before.

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Arts and Crafts Boosts Kid’s Self Esteem

A child’s self esteem is built throughout the course of childhood. Although ultimately the child develops her own perceptions of self and builds her own self esteem, reinforcement from the outside world is crucial in fortifying the child’s self assessment.

Appropriate responses to the child support the child’s opinion of herself, “I think that I did a nice job completing this arts and crafts project.” “Yes, you did a terrific job completing your arts and crafts project. I can tell by the quality of the finished piece that you really put your all into it!”

Praise just for the sake of praise isn’t effective in building a child’s self esteem. Kids are very insightful, especially teens, and even the most enthusiastic praise will ring hollow if it is not attached to something meaningful. “Wow, you are amazing!” “Why, what did I do?”

Creative activities such as arts and crafts provide an outstanding opportunity for adults to help bolster a child’s self esteem. As the child works, the observant adult has almost unlimited opportunities to point out what the child is doing well.

Top ten reasons arts and crafts helps boost a child’s self esteem.

1. Arts and crafts invites the child to experiment with supplies, techniques, and directions that are often foreign and intimidating. Tackling and becoming adept at creative new tasks brings satisfaction and gratification to children of all ages.

2. Arts and crafts encourages children to push themselves to plan and finish an entire project. Children feel a great sense of accomplishment when they are responsible for completing an entire task from A to Z.

3. Arts and crafts classes produce a fertile environment for meeting and interacting with new people. It can be difficult for some children to venture beyond their comfort zones and intermingle with children they don’t know. It is very flattering and a boost to self esteem for children to hit it off and work with new friends.

4. Arts and crafts classes force children to take risk and put themselves and their work “out there”. It is a gamble to create something and show people because there is the possibility of receiving criticism. Children, especially teens are averse to this type of hazard. A supportive arts and crafts trainer creates an environment where children feel comfortable exposing their work. Children who learn how to tackle risk are better suited and more comfortable tackling appropriate risk as adults.

5. Arts and crafts teach open mindedness. Creative questions do not have finite answers like math or physics problems. When doing arts and crafts children learn how to explore the many different possible solutions to the problems that they face. Being imaginative and open minded allows for them to invent solutions that are exciting and inspired. Children gain the confidence to tackle many problems in creative and ingenious ways.

6. Arts and crafts aid in dispelling a child’s “limiting beliefs”. It is very common for children to create ideas about their own abilities that restrict their activities. Thoughts like, “I am not smart enough to do this,” are destructive and chip away at their self esteem. Craft projects teach children how to change damaging preconceived notions. Children learn how much they truly are capable of and build on each experience gaining confidence with each project.

7. Arts and crafts projects illustrate to children that they can achieve success. It is good for children to discover that they can be victorious. Success feels great and inspires children to reach for more and attempt harder and harder tasks.

8. Arts and crafts allows an opportunity for children to let loose and have fun. In a relaxed and non-competitive atmosphere children can explore their carefree and imaginative side. Seeing that they are multidimensional beings contributes to their overall sense of well being and a healthy sense of self.

9. Arts and crafts classes permit children to see themselves in a fresh, new light. It is important that kids have the opportunity to survey many different pursuits. Allowing kids to choose the activities that excite and delight them gives them the confidence to later pursue their own interests and eventually choose meaningful careers and pastimes.

10. Arts and crafts promote a passion for learning! Kids who have expanded their confidence through creativity and developing a healthy self esteem are curious about learning new things. The self assurance that they build doing arts and crafts overflows into all of their endeavors making for a rich and highly satisfying childhood.

Elena Neitlich is a successful mompreneur and owner of www.artsandcraftsmoms.com When you are ready to follow your passion to teach kids and own a small business Become a Certified Arts and Crafts Trainer!



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How to Build Your Self Esteem In a Negative Environment

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Unfortunately, there are some people that we encounter everyday who are just negative people. They can break you down without even trying to or even realizing it. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So who are these negative people that you should avoid?

Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your confidence. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers…all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your morale, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self worth, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self worth and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you, “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means “self change”. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be content and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Deborah Schaefer, publisher of http://www.SuccessOrate.com
the Personal Development Planning Center, is living her passion by helping people improve their lives through her informative, inspirational and motivational writing and resources.



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Self Esteem Issues – Their Growth and How to Overcome Them

Self esteem is how we perceive our self, the way we value our self, the worth we put on our self as a person. Although this has nothing to do with how other people perceive us, it is about how we perceive other people to perceive us.

If we suffer from low self esteem we will feel very lowly about ourselves thus filling us with self doubt. We can end up doubting everything about us, including our appearance, intelligence, capability, how much people like us and the worth of what we have to say. We can feel very lonely and different from other people.

Low self esteem can be caused by many different things. It could be bullying or constantly being put down. Someone, very often a family member, telling the person that they are not doing well enough, that they are useless or worthless or a combination of all of those things.

Whatever the cause is, it makes little, if any, difference to how the person feels. The overwhelming feelings of being a lesser person, inadequate, useless or worthless, and above all – different!

This can happen at any age. Sometimes it can be in the very early, formative years of a child possibly living in the shadow of an older sibling, but could just as easily be at a much later time of life caused through a controlling relationship

These feelings can have a devastating effect on the person’s life, restricting them and stopping them from going to certain places. They may avoid some activities or associating with some people for very often the unnecessary fear of being ridiculed. This can stop them from making relationships or pursuing a particular career.

Abusing somebody, be it by bullying, controlling, putting them down by telling them how useless they are, or in any other way, will understandably give that person doubts about themselves. They will think why do people treat me like that? What is it about me that make others treat me like that? There must be something wrong with me. It is these negative thoughts that are the seeds of low self esteem.

When someone has those self doubts and negative thoughts it effects how they act. They avoid situations where they might feel uncomfortable. They act in a negative way and therefore, get a negative response from others making them feel even more negative. This starts a downward cycle of feeling negative, acting negative, getting a negative response, then feeling even more negative.

How other people perceive the sufferer is of enormous importance to them. Unfortunately, what they imagine others are thinking about them will invariably be negative.

So how can we overcome low self esteem? The first thing we should remember is that it will have probably taken a long time for our self esteem to have sunk so low. Going down that spiral of negative feeling, negative actions, getting negative response, making you feel more negative. So what we need to do is become more positive in the way we feel. As negative feelings grow so do positive feelings. To many of us the thought of changing from feeling and acting negative to positive is a massive step and so it is, but the good news is all we need to do is feel a little bit more positive and then allow that feeling to grow.

The thought of changing negative thoughts to positive ones for anyone suffering from low esteem can be very daunting, but all we need to do is start the process.

I have found with my clients if they can accept the fact that they are not as important to others as they feel they are, it can very often help them to start those positive feelings. It is a fact that the only people we are important to are those who love or care for us. It is ironic that it is these people that we all feel confident and comfortable with. To all others it is unimportant what we look like, what we wear, what we say or how we act, as they are unimportant to us. If we are walking along the street and we see someone fall over or walk into a lamp post we may feel sorry for them or have a little smile, but a few steps further we have seen something in a shop window and that person has gone from our thoughts forever because there are too many other things to think about, and that is how every one reacts.

If we accept what we are like is not that important to other people we need no longer worry about what they think about us, a very positive thought. It is only a start, but very often that first small, positive thought is all that is needed to allow the growing process to begin.

Add a relaxation therapy like hypnotherapy or aromatherapy to help the sufferer become more relaxed and calm, then those feelings can start to change and that negative, downward cycle can turn into an upward, positive one.

Henry is a fully qualified hypnotherapist specialising in emotional problems. For more information on low self esteem and hypnotherapy please go to hypnotherapycounselling.com.

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7 Steps to Healthy Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is how well you think of yourself. It is important to children and adults, alike. Self-esteem is believing and caring as much for yourself as you do other people. It is believing that you are competent and good. It’s being as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else.

Some people care more for others than they do themselves. They feel that others are taking advantage of them, but they feel unable to speak out or to say, no. It is time for them to take back control of their lives and raise their self-esteem. It is good to do things for others, but put reasonable limits on it and leave some energy for yourself. If you feel yourself getting angry and resentful, you may be doing too much for others and not feeling appreciated. This could be a sign that you need some time to take care of your own needs. Do a little fact finding and you may want to some adjustments.

The way in which you were raised can affect your self-esteem. If your childhood discipline was harsh or shaming, you might have learned to not believe in yourself. You may find it difficult to express your needs and your opinions easily. This leads to low self-esteem. However, firm but loving discipline raises children who feel good about themselves and others. They are kind to themselves and others and balance time for others and time for self. They can ask for what they want, knowing that others are not obligated to give and they can say “no” when things get to be too much.

Our childhood memories were seen and are remembered through our “child’s eyes”. Did you know as much as a child as you do as an adult? No, of course you didn’t. What you know as an adult can reorganize memories into more appropriate patterns. Revisiting them through adult eyes can reframe the memory, so that you no longer take responsibility for actions and events over which you had no control. You can also see your childhood mistakes as part of the growing up process that we all went though, rather than something which marked you as not as good as everyone else.

I sometimes think about a first grader learning to write. He is going to make lots of mistakes and do a lot of correcting. That’s how we all learn and life’s little lessons are no different. Making mistakes, taking feedback from others, and using the new information is how we learn and mature. Look through mistakes for that little seed of knowledge that lies within. Learn from it and move on.

On the other end of the scale, some people care more for themselves than for others. That is not self-esteem, it is self-absorption. Balance between the needs of the self, the needs of the community, and the needs of other individuals is what is needed.

Do you need a self-esteem booster shot? There are many things you can do to consciously raise your self-esteem.

1. Take good care of yourself. Do nice things for yourself that bring you pleasure. Do as much for yourself as you would a good friend.

2. Learn to say “no” when saying “yes” is not in your best interest. Balance what you do for others and what you do for yourself. Realize that you are just as important as others are. Let others take care of their own needs more often. Life involves give and take. Both are important.

3. Be active in a civic or social organization in your community. This gives you opportunities to help your community and to realize the valuable skills that you have to offer.

4. Use positive affirmations or positive self-talk every day. Make a list of your positive traits and put it on the refrigerator. Read them several times a day. Put a post-it note on your mirror that says “I like me.” or “I’m a good person” or some similar phrase. Say the phrase out loud several times a day.

5. Every time you criticize yourself, Balance automatic negative self-evaluations with positive ones. Accept your mistakes as a learning process and make a commitment to change.

6. Remind yourself that you are a good person and that you have a lot to offer. Cherish yourself and your positive traits as much as others do.

7. Take what you have learned about life and “pass it on”.

Dr. Seifert has over 30 years experience as a psychotherapist. She has created guided imagery CD’s and MP3 downloads for relaxation and wellness. These popular CD’s are also used for pain management and sports enhancement. We all have untapped wisdom within us. Discover yours. Don’t miss this exciting new resource. Listen to clips at
Discover the Wise Old Woman



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How High Self Esteem Can Help You Design Your Future

Studies show that more than 85% of the world’s population suffers from some degree of diminished self-worth. For most people who lack a positive self-image, the future looks like a mere extension of their troubled past. Their expectation of what is to be is consistent with what has been, with a slight and predictable level of improvement.

Because of their lacking self-esteem, most are resigned to a life that lacks the excitement and passion that characterizes the lives of those who feel worthy of tapping into the best things life has to offer. People who possess a positive self-image typically have an optimistic expectation of what is ahead of them and as a result, they realize this expectation as a self-fulfilling prophesy.

In contrast to the state of resignation that typifies those with diminished self-esteem, consider the possibility that the future lives as the realization of a promise, a promise you make to yourself and to the world. The future will result from your expectations and the quality of your future will be impacted by the commitment you have for it. It lives as a possibility. In other words, you get to invent it.

In fact, you are the sole designer and architect of what is to be and the result will be entirely consistent with your expectation and your self-image.
In other words, our future will be directly related to what we expect for it to be. If we doubt our self-worth and expect our future lives to be worse than our current situation, we will sabotage ourselves into making it turn out in alignment with this self-fulfilling prophesy.

If we limit our expectations and plan on more of the same results we have experienced to date, our apathy will generate a future consistent with this expectation. To the contrary, if we believe in ourselves and our expectation is that our future will be better than our present situation, self-motivation will lead to actions that will bring about the positive outcome we envision.

If we feel good about ourselves and expect to live happy, fulfilled, and successful lives, we will take the actions consistent with realizing that expectation. We will therefore generate the opportunities that will result in rich relationships, abundance, and joy being attracted to our lives, because we believe we deserve it and act on this belief.

We get what we expect and attract prosperity or lack, joy or sorrow, rewarding relationships or angry, frustrating ones all as a result of whether or not we feel worthy. Just as we can doubt our abilities to succeed and our worthiness of attracting rewarding friends and intimate relationships, we can also instead choose to take full responsibility for expecting all aspects of our lives to be the way we want them to turn out. When we come from this positive mindset and commit to manifesting our dream lives, we put forth an energy that attracts all the things we desire to us.

Realize that you have consciously or unconsciously attracted everything that shows up in your life to you. If where you are in life, the relationships you have attracted to you, your physical, financial, emotional and spiritual states are not what you desire, decide now to alter your course. Decide that you deserve better. Get in touch with the erroneous decisions you made at an early age that impacted your self-esteem. Reframe how you see yourself and resolve to act from a declaration of who you are (just because you say so) instead of the unlovable, somehow defective or unworthy image you made up or bought into long ago. Change your expectations. Design a life plan consistent with your new expectations. Make requests of those who can support your efforts in some way. The future exists for each of us as a possibility.

When we do the necessary work to complete our troubled past and put the self-interpretations that do not support us behind, we can courageously decide to design our future lives deliberately to be in alignment with joy, abundance, fun, fulfillment, and self-love. When we train ourselves to first expect positive results and then to act in accordance with what we expect, we set the stage for a bright and promising tomorrow. We have the personal power to create our future on purpose.

The future can unfold out of our declaration of how we see ourselves and what we expect it to be like. To the extent that we take responsibility to expect great things in our lives, ensure we give off positive, attractive, loving energy and then get into action to bring about our expectations, we will be the force behind the realization of a rewarding happy future characterized by soaring self-esteem.

So, my challenge for you today is to write out a clear and specific vision of exactly what your life will be like in every area including your relationships, health, wealth and finances, occupation, recreation and social life, and personal and spiritual development. Commit to resolving any past issues that continue to erode how you feel about yourself. I wrote The Self-Esteem Book and the accompanying The Self-Esteem Workbook to support you to learn the tools that will allow you to reinvent your life and how you see yourself. When you realize that you have the power to transform your world and enhance the quality of experiences you attract to you, you will begin to act upon opportunities for manifesting joy, fulfillment, abundance, success, and meaningful relationships.

There are no accidents. You are reading this article now because you have attracted the opportunity to take a significant step forward. Seize the chance and begin to look for the countless opportunities to impact your life all around you on a daily basis. Transformation begins with the intention to look for opportunities that can make a difference in your life and then taking bold, focused action in the direction of your vision. All that it takes is courage to begin the process of restoring your personal magnificence and a commitment to consistent awareness and effective actions.

Denis Sabardine is a personal growth coach. He works for the Center of Personal Reinvention, an organization that provides coaching, leadership, success and productivity courses.
Get your free audio here: The Self Esteem System website



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The Importance of Female Self-Esteem in Healthy Relationships

Before a man can truly love a woman, his respect for her must be at level 8 or above (on a scale of 1-10). But even before a man can truly love and respect you, you must love and respect YOURSELF!

Remember, like is drawn to like.

To have high self esteem means to feel competent and worthy, to respect and stand up for your interests
and needs and to cope with the challenges of life.

Those with high self-esteem are ambitious and embrace their experiences in life emotionally, creatively, and spiritually. The higher our self esteem, the more
likely we are to treat others with respect, kindness and consideration since we do not perceive them as a
threat to our peace of mind or security.

On the other hand, having low self esteem means that you suffer from feelings of inadequacy, insecurity,
self-doubt, guilt, and fear. You are more likely to enter into destructive relationships. You may recognize
that in the back of your mind a nasty little voice constantly reminds you that you are “not enough.”

Those with low self-esteem may also be arrogant, boastful, or overstate their abilities in an attempt to “puff themselves up.” Those with low self-esteem frequently attempt to glorify themselves at the expense of others by verbally discounting, mistreating, or physically abusing them in an effort to feel more powerful or elevate themselves.

Know When to Get Out or Just Say NO!

How we feel about OURSELVES affects virtually every aspect of our lives – from the way we function at
work, in love, in sex, to the way we operate as parents. And (excluding mental, emotional or physical
problems that are biological in origin) most of the social ills and personal problems we suffer originate in an environment of low self esteem: alcohol and drug abuse, underachievement, spousal battering, child
molestation, sexual dysfunction, emotional immaturity, suicide, and setting ourselves up to be used.

For those of you that call yourself having a man but still spend important holidays alone; have a man that
you have been dating for years that refuses to marry you; have a man in your life that doesn’t open doors or
pull out your chair for you or treat you like a lady; or have a husband that cheats whenever he gets ready
with no fear of repercussions – know that somewhere down the line you have failed one or more of his
tests.

If your man has changed in his treatment towards you and no longer treats you as special and important as he did previously that means he is probably not ready to leave the relationship completely yet, but he has already moved you out of the running as a serious contender for his affections. In his mind he already decided that the relationship wasn’t going anywhere.”

He may feel he does not have to treat you like a lady because in some way you have disappointed him and convinced him that you don’t deserve to be treated with high regard.

In these cases, I would recommend that you recognize this relationship will NEVER fulfill your needs. No matter how painful the loss may seem, it is best to abandon that relationship and start fresh with another man.

Take Responsibility For Your Choices and
Become a Winner in the Game of Love!

We make choices every day of our lives. Admittedly, some of the choices we make are not in our best
interest over the long run. Perhaps these imprudent choices are dictated, not by thoughtful respect for
ourselves, but instead by the desire for immediate gratification, a sense of desperation, a refusal to accept reality, or plain old low self esteem.

And even though (as stated by Carl Jung) “The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases,” it is my firm belief that a woman who thought highly of and valued herself, her sexuality and her heart would not engage in the behaviors associated with being a ‘ho.

By using the tests outlined above as a guideline, you can quickly determine where you have been going wrong
in your dealings with men and adjust your program accordingly to develop the relationship of your dreams.

By behaving in a way that commands respect from the men you meet, you will win the right man’s respect,
admiration, heart and ultimately his undying devotion.

(c) 2008 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has authored dozens of relationship articles and advice columns on Ask HeartBeat!, which focuses on modern relationships for teens and adults. Her dating guide Sucka Free Love! provides street-smart, hilarious insight into the toughest issues facing singles today. Check out The Sucka Free Dating Radio Talk Show on Wednesday night at 7:00 pm PST.



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How to Build Your Credibility, Boost Your Reputation and Skyrocket Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a very important motivator according to Abraham Maslow. He places a person’s self-esteem needs above physiological, security, and social needs.

The dictionary defines self-esteem as confidence and satisfaction in oneself. It can be also thought of as self-respect, or confidence in your own merit as an individual person.

In the work place and in life we want to rise above the other needs and operate at, nurture, and maintain high levels of self-esteem. We will be more productive and happier if we do.

Huge losses in self-esteem will occur if you do not keep every promise you make. If you make a commitment to other people, and even to yourself, and you don’t keep that commitment, you will lose a part of your self-esteem. Your self-regard will be wounded and you will feel awful.

Others will learn to distrust you when you make commitments. Not keeping your word creates poor relationships and damages good ones.

Some people I interact with aren’t aware that they are missing commitments because they don’t take them seriously enough to write them down or make the effort to keep them. They just forget, get busy doing other things, and don’t take keeping their commitments seriously. Missing commitments in this way will negatively impact your self-esteem.

One of the most typical – and seemingly insignificant – missed commitments is when a business person’s voice mail states that they will return your call and then they don’t. A small loss perhaps, but certainly damaging to trust and credibility.

So how do you ensure you keep your commitments? Write them down – all of them! Even the ones you make to yourself.

Be very selective and careful of the commitments you do make. Be wise about what you commit to. Learn to say no to commitments that you know you can’t keep or that aren’t the highest and best use of your time.

Learn that you don’t have to accept every deadline that someone proposes to you. Better to negotiate deadlines up front than to commit to doing something you know is impossible to accomplish in the time proposed.

Once you accept and commit to appropriate deadlines, manage your work and life schedule to keep every one of your promises. A person of integrity builds trust, self-esteem, and positive relationships.

Evaluate your promise keeping now and take the actions you must to avoid the huge losses brought about by missing commitments.

Joe Farcht is the founder and president of Leadership Advantage, Inc. His purpose for living is to develop and coach leaders, executives, managers, and supervisors to new levels of performance and success in their work and life. He is the author of the book Building Personal Leadership: Inspirational Tools & Techniques for Work & Life. Learn more at Leadership Advantage, Inc.. Please contact Joe at joefarcht@cox.net or at 602 996-1802.

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