How Can I Improve My Self Esteem – Here’s How!

How can I improve my self esteem – it’s a question that’s been asked many times, many ways. You may know someone who has asked it, or have wondered the same thing. This is a bigger problem than most think, where so many people world wide suffer from poor self esteem. But if you want to build your self esteem, one good way to start is by realizing that so many others share your plight.

Here are 3 simple tips to help you when you are asking yourself, how can I improve my self esteem.

Don’t compare yourself to others

We are all individuals with different qualities. We are born separately from each other. Our system of values, our goals and our wishes are different from those of others. This is why comparing ourselves to other people around us is, at the end of the day, a pointless exercise.

For example, let’s look at a man who is feeling down in the dumps – his best friend is out with his family, vacationing in the Caribbean, while he can’t afford to do the same for his. It’s totally irrelevant that his wife and kids want to stay home for the meantime because they have their own commitments. People have their own issues to take care of independent from the issues of others, and the same may apply for the wife and kids. Or maybe the wife knows that her best friend’s husband is unfaithful and it’s guilt that’s making him appear so generous. Comparison, as you can see, can be futile like that.

Comparing yourself with yourself – now maybe that’s something you may consider in the future. If you’re a student you may have observed your grades have been going down as compared to the past, or if you’re working, maybe your work was of a higher standard before. If you have to make this comparison, do so without any self-flagellation involved. Ask yourself where you went wrong and what you can do to improve in the future.

Talk to yourself, but do so with positive reinforcement

Try to avoid words like can’t, should and must in your self talk. Just remember to be positive when doing so, and to refrain from using words that exude negativity. So for example, if you catch yourself saying to yourself, “You must improve your self esteem,” immediately change it to, “I can improve my self esteem by following these tips.”

Use power words to others

People with low self esteem often have a hard time giving positive criticism to others. When another person, or persons do or say something that isn’t right, we sometimes worry about what they would say if we let them know. So we don’t say anything right away. Instead we bottle up our feelings until they explode in an angry attack on the person.

You can use the same empowering words with others that you will use with yourself. For example, instead of saying to your kids, “Go clean your room now,” try saying “You can clean your room now, honey.” Don’t make it sound like such a chore. And when dealing with your spouse, try saying something like “You didn’t have to let the dog sleep on the couch” instead of admonishing “Don’t let the dog sleep on the couch.”

It sounds like such a little change, but it will make a huge difference in the way your comment is received. It never hurts to try, even if this may not sound as forceful as you’d like. I found this was a great way to improve my self esteem and help me get along with others, and I think you will too.

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