How Is Your Self-Esteem?

The development of a positive self-concept, or healthy self-esteem, plays a big role in life success and happiness.

Self-esteem is quite simply how we feel about ourselves and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. The way we talk about ourselves is very important in everything we do. What we think establishes how we feel and how we feel determines how we behave.

A strong positive self-concept allows individuals to open themselves to new opportunities and challenges both personally and professionally. People who lack self-esteem are less willing to move from their safety zone and so miss opportunities in life, love, and success.

We can usually put the blame for low self-esteem on people in our past such as our parents, teachers, or other significant people. However once we reach adulthood, we have to take responsibility for our own self-concept.

In many ways sel,f-esteem is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those with a positive self-image will constantly reinforce that image with new successes whereas those with a negative self-image will find new failures to reinforce that image. If your self-esteem needs bolstering then you should find ways to bolster it.

One method to increase your self-concept is by means of self-talk. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is behind depression and anxiety. It’s essential to emphasize to ourselves both positive self-statements and mental pictures. Do this several times every day until it turns into a habit and you don’t have to force yourself to imagine a positive self-concept but rather, let it become a reality.

A second important step is to determine what you can and can’t control. Change and act on the things which are in your control and release the things that are out of your control. You are able to control your eating and exercise habits but you can not change your body type. You can control your personal hygiene and appearance but you cannot control whether other people find you attractive. You are able to control how you feel about yourself but you can not control how others feel about you.

Third, set up a competition you can win. This means just compete to improve yourself, not to beat another person. Constantly setting meaningful, achievable goals for yourself allows you to keep improving yourself and can also develop your self-esteem by reinforcing your achievements.

Fourth, turn into a positive person. When you think of a decision or change in your life then think of everything that could go right. Focus on the positives even when something unexpected happens. Recognize that mistakes are opportunities to try again. Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes aren’t personal tragedies but instead problems you now have the opportunity to solve. Success is often the tail of a string of failed attempts to get it right.

Finally, accept responsibility for yourself. Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness and realizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Release the blame for your past and do not dwell on the others who could have contributed to your low self-esteem. That was yesterday. You and you alone are responsible for the person you will be today and tomorrow.

Developing your self-esteem is essential to your success and happiness. If you follow these five steps you then should be able to give your self-esteem a boost.

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