Pointers On Developing Self Esteem

Ever wonder why some people are just naturally gregarious and happy around other people, like to be with others and always seem to have a plan for their lives; while others seem to be unhappy all the time, cannot seem to get all their ducks in a row, and never seem to make anything of themselves. Well, a lot of that has to do with developing self esteem and being able to be comfortable with who you are and feeling positive about yourself and your ability to interact with others.

The most clear definition of what self esteem is, is that it is the feeling of self worth that comes from someone’s positive or negative beliefs about whether or not they are valuable. There are two sides to the proverbial coin, one being the positive side where a person feels positive about himself and whether or not he has worth to others; and then there is the negative side where the opposite is true, the person feels he lacks any worth at all and thinks he is a zero in most folks’ eyes.

If you want to succeed in life and make a positive mark in today’s society, then you must set about developing self esteem and start regarding yourself in a positive light. Studies have shown that most feelings of self esteem come from the person’s initial involvement with and interaction with his parents and how they regarded him and treated him as he was growing up. Some kids are in an unfortunate situation where they are looked at as mistakes by their parents and sometimes are unwanted, and not only is that bad enough, but they are told as much by the parents. They are routinely told they are stupid and a pain, and they struggle with feelings of self loathing and negative self esteem all their growing up years. Conversely, you have the kids who are coming out of a home situation where they are looked at by the parents as the best thing that ever happened to them, patted on the back all the time, and are constantly rewarded for just being alive. Those kids are going out into the world with a glow in their belly that constantly reinforces itself for them every day of the year.

Now that’s some powerful stuff; to grow up feeling that you were a mistake and not wanted by your parents thus producing very strong feelings of negative self worth and self loathing; or being touted as the best thing that ever happened to your parents and given every opportunity to make the most of yourself while being patted on the back constantly and consequently you grow up developing positive self esteem and feeling there is nothing you can’t do.

The lack of developing self esteem at an early age and having it remain positive throughout life, is a major undertaking for a lot of people, especially those who have developed a negative self image and have to counteract that before they can start to build a positive one. Folks troubled by negative self esteem usually are very introverted people and do not like to mingle with or socialize readily with other folks. They feel they are worthless inside and have nothing to offer society, so they remain unfulfilled and have problems setting and reaching goals. They have no desire to shoulder responsibilities, and usually let opportunities pass them by because they feel they are not worth anything. Whereas the person with a positive self image is almost the exact opposite; he is gregarious and loves to socialize with others, because he feels positive about himself and what he has to offer; and he will usually take on a lot of responsibilities just to make sure that things get done the right way. Other people gravitate to someone with a positive self image, and that serves as reinforcement for the person that he is wanted and has something to offer that other people want.

So what is the secret of developing self esteem. Is there something that can be done and how do we reach that point in our lives where we feel good about being ourselves and proud of our accomplishments. For one thing, be aware of what you say when you talk about yourself. Don’t put yourself down, or talk in a belittling manner. That old adage of “you are what you think” also applies to “you are what you say”. You call yourself a jerk often enough and soon the whole world within earshot of you begins to believe you truly are a jerk. Believe you are just as good as the next person and make that your mantra for every day comings and goings; look at yourself in the mirror every morning and say it out loud…I am just as good as the next person and I can prove it……and believe in what you are saying.

The most important part of developing self esteem is to build your self confidence and make yourself appreciate just who you are and all the positive attributes that you have. To build that confidence over time, you need to begin by making small decisions that affect your life and jump right in; and do it again and again and again until it starts to feel natural. Then will you hear that little squirmy voice inside you that says “that’s it, you’ve got it, you’re on the right track, keep going”. When that happens, you are on your way to becoming more positive about yourself and your abilities; and you will also find that you will start doing what it is in life that feels right for you. Stop trying to please the whole world, you can’t do it; it’s just not possible; so don’t beat yourself up over it……..get over it. Then, as you grow and mature and feel more and more positive about yourself, treat yourself to something nice as a reward for a job well done.

Eve Francis authors other articles and materials regarding improve self confidence. For more information on Self Esteem The Off Spring visit our site.

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