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Forget About Never Being Made Fun of: Here’s What to Do Instead

Being made fun of is probably one of the most common fears among people with confidence and self-esteem issues. So why should we just accept it?
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How Can I Improve My Self Esteem – Here’s How!

How can I improve my self esteem – it’s a question that’s been asked many times, many ways. You may know someone who has asked it, or have wondered the same thing. This is a bigger problem than most think, where so many people world wide suffer from poor self esteem. But if you want to build your self esteem, one good way to start is by realizing that so many others share your plight.

Here are 3 simple tips to help you when you are asking yourself, how can I improve my self esteem.

Don’t compare yourself to others

We are all individuals with different qualities. We are born separately from each other. Our system of values, our goals and our wishes are different from those of others. This is why comparing ourselves to other people around us is, at the end of the day, a pointless exercise.

For example, let’s look at a man who is feeling down in the dumps – his best friend is out with his family, vacationing in the Caribbean, while he can’t afford to do the same for his. It’s totally irrelevant that his wife and kids want to stay home for the meantime because they have their own commitments. People have their own issues to take care of independent from the issues of others, and the same may apply for the wife and kids. Or maybe the wife knows that her best friend’s husband is unfaithful and it’s guilt that’s making him appear so generous. Comparison, as you can see, can be futile like that.

Comparing yourself with yourself – now maybe that’s something you may consider in the future. If you’re a student you may have observed your grades have been going down as compared to the past, or if you’re working, maybe your work was of a higher standard before. If you have to make this comparison, do so without any self-flagellation involved. Ask yourself where you went wrong and what you can do to improve in the future.

Talk to yourself, but do so with positive reinforcement

Try to avoid words like can’t, should and must in your self talk. Just remember to be positive when doing so, and to refrain from using words that exude negativity. So for example, if you catch yourself saying to yourself, “You must improve your self esteem,” immediately change it to, “I can improve my self esteem by following these tips.”

Use power words to others

People with low self esteem often have a hard time giving positive criticism to others. When another person, or persons do or say something that isn’t right, we sometimes worry about what they would say if we let them know. So we don’t say anything right away. Instead we bottle up our feelings until they explode in an angry attack on the person.

You can use the same empowering words with others that you will use with yourself. For example, instead of saying to your kids, “Go clean your room now,” try saying “You can clean your room now, honey.” Don’t make it sound like such a chore. And when dealing with your spouse, try saying something like “You didn’t have to let the dog sleep on the couch” instead of admonishing “Don’t let the dog sleep on the couch.”

It sounds like such a little change, but it will make a huge difference in the way your comment is received. It never hurts to try, even if this may not sound as forceful as you’d like. I found this was a great way to improve my self esteem and help me get along with others, and I think you will too.

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Here’s How To Help Boost Your Teens Self Esteem

Many people suffer from self-esteem issues. Teens are often more effected by esteem issues. They are going through changes, both physically and mentally. This can radically effect how they view them selves and their capabilities.

Self-esteem is more than how a teen views their appearance. It is how they view themselves as a whole. It could be how they see themselves in academics, sports or performance based activities. Doing well in these areas can build self-esteem, but may not be the case. Many teens that are outstanding in these fields and are judged good looking by their peers can suffer from self-esteem issues. It is in how they view themselves and their performance.

Help a teen improve their self-esteem gradually. Radical highs and lows can result in depression or other problems. Show them that they can feel good about themselves as a whole.

Self-esteem issues may be reflections of how adults around them behave. Think of your own behaviors. If you are constantly brow beating yourself your teen sees this. They notice that you only seem to point out your negatives. They will emulate this learned behavior. Start by having a healthier self-esteem level yourself.

Show them that body image isn’t the key to everything. A teen that has low self-esteem due to looks, weight or other physical features may be resistant to these. The teenage years are one of adjustment. They are learning to be comfortable in their own skins. We live in a society that endorses beauty and thinness as the things to be. Teens, even those that fit this model, struggle with this. Teach teens that difference is what makes the world a more enjoyable place. Show them we don’t all need to look like we belong on the cover of a magazine to be beautiful. It comes from within. This is an issue we all need to get comfortable with, not just today’s youth.

Help them to celebrate their success and forgive their shortcomings. If they do well on a test give them praise. If they don’t do well show them that is ok too, that they can forgive themselves and move on. Consider all areas, not just academic, sports, clubs and other activities, no matter how small should be included. Encourage them to try new things as well. Even if they fail, they are better for trying.

Learning to deal with criticism is part of growing up. Teach your child that constructive criticism is good, but always balance criticism with praise. A growing youth needs to know they do things well. This will help balance out the negative they may be getting.

Most of all be there for your teenager. A teenager with the love and support of family and friends often has higher self-esteem. If they are secure in this area, they are often more secure in other areas. Knowing that you are unconditionally accepted does a lot for a teenager.

Be aware of the signs of low self-esteem in your teen. Low self-esteem can lead to depression, eating disorders, alcoholism or other problems. Making yourself aware will help you know when your teen may need professional help.

Developing a strong sense of self and healthy self-esteem will get a person far in life. Helping your teen develop this is one of the best things that you can provide. Lead by example, give plenty of praise and show them they are wonderful worthwhile person are good first steps.

Need more tips on parenting your teen? Visit Parenting My Teen for free tips, resources and a bi-weekly podcast dedicated to helping you parent your adolescent.

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