Tag Archives: Self

Signs Of Low Self Esteem

Are the signs of low self esteem manifesting themselves in somebody you know? It could be someone in your family, or maybe a friend or co-worker, but if someone you love suffers from low self esteem, you need to know how to determine the signs.

The first thing to remember is that all of us doubt ourselves to a certain degree at least once in our lives. For instance, you may be going through some stress at work and find coping with other, unrelated issues to be quite an ordeal. A person whose self esteem is already high would size things up, and immediately think of ways to rectify the situation and at least lighten the load. But a person with low self esteem would put the blame on themselves, even if it appears to be nobody’s fault. Or sometimes, they will blame other people.

When dealing with other people, a person with a very poor opinion of himself/herself would exude negativity either way you look at it. This could include making themselves appear persecuted. They would look for a scapegoat, and oftentimes it would be everybody’s fault but theirs. Everything negative that would happen to them would be somebody else’s fault. It has to be somebody’s fault.

Oftentimes they don’t realize that they’re dodging accountability for their lives. And the root of this is a belief that they cannot do anything right and cannot satisfy their own needs. They believe that their state of negativity is pre-determined and cannot be changed. And while they, in all fairness, want to feel good about the way they are, they resort to using other people as scapegoats.

If a person close to you is guilty of this self-destructive behavior, you can try helping them by advising them of areas they can work on to solve whatever their problems may be. But be prepared to have your good efforts rejected. They will find ways to make your ideas and suggestions look like folly. It is often better just to tell them what you like about them. They just might believe you (though they often won’t) and think that they’ve been doing too much whining, so they’ll at least tone down this way.

Another one of the signs of low self esteem is a person who allows themselves to be used by others. When the other person jumps, they would ask “how high” – they will bend over backwards just to satisfy the other person’s often unrealistic expectations. Unfortunately, people do not usually value those who are so eager to please. It’s like that kid you may have encountered in high school or college, getting all of you drunk in the keg party just to win himself some friends. While everybody at that keg party may have gone home intoxicated and/or happy, the kid’s ploy still wouldn’t work – it’s his weakness, and not his generosity that drove him to throw the party.

“-Holics” – people addicted to something (not necessary alcohol), people dissatisfied with life and those who hop from partner to partner or job to job suffer from obvious signs of low self esteem. And even if it may not work out the best in the long run, these people would often seek the quickest solution just to get the monkey off their back. For example, they may feel underqualified for their present job, so they’d look for another one after just a few weeks or months. Rather than working on a relationship they will keep looking for the perfect partner with whom, they think, no effort will be required.

A low self esteem can be fixed, no question about that. It just takes a certain willingness to change for the better. It starts with noticing the problem, acknowledging it, and doing what we could to sort things out. So if you have any of these signs of low self esteem yourself, now is the time to take action.

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How Can I Improve My Self Esteem – Here’s How!

How can I improve my self esteem – it’s a question that’s been asked many times, many ways. You may know someone who has asked it, or have wondered the same thing. This is a bigger problem than most think, where so many people world wide suffer from poor self esteem. But if you want to build your self esteem, one good way to start is by realizing that so many others share your plight.

Here are 3 simple tips to help you when you are asking yourself, how can I improve my self esteem.

Don’t compare yourself to others

We are all individuals with different qualities. We are born separately from each other. Our system of values, our goals and our wishes are different from those of others. This is why comparing ourselves to other people around us is, at the end of the day, a pointless exercise.

For example, let’s look at a man who is feeling down in the dumps – his best friend is out with his family, vacationing in the Caribbean, while he can’t afford to do the same for his. It’s totally irrelevant that his wife and kids want to stay home for the meantime because they have their own commitments. People have their own issues to take care of independent from the issues of others, and the same may apply for the wife and kids. Or maybe the wife knows that her best friend’s husband is unfaithful and it’s guilt that’s making him appear so generous. Comparison, as you can see, can be futile like that.

Comparing yourself with yourself – now maybe that’s something you may consider in the future. If you’re a student you may have observed your grades have been going down as compared to the past, or if you’re working, maybe your work was of a higher standard before. If you have to make this comparison, do so without any self-flagellation involved. Ask yourself where you went wrong and what you can do to improve in the future.

Talk to yourself, but do so with positive reinforcement

Try to avoid words like can’t, should and must in your self talk. Just remember to be positive when doing so, and to refrain from using words that exude negativity. So for example, if you catch yourself saying to yourself, “You must improve your self esteem,” immediately change it to, “I can improve my self esteem by following these tips.”

Use power words to others

People with low self esteem often have a hard time giving positive criticism to others. When another person, or persons do or say something that isn’t right, we sometimes worry about what they would say if we let them know. So we don’t say anything right away. Instead we bottle up our feelings until they explode in an angry attack on the person.

You can use the same empowering words with others that you will use with yourself. For example, instead of saying to your kids, “Go clean your room now,” try saying “You can clean your room now, honey.” Don’t make it sound like such a chore. And when dealing with your spouse, try saying something like “You didn’t have to let the dog sleep on the couch” instead of admonishing “Don’t let the dog sleep on the couch.”

It sounds like such a little change, but it will make a huge difference in the way your comment is received. It never hurts to try, even if this may not sound as forceful as you’d like. I found this was a great way to improve my self esteem and help me get along with others, and I think you will too.

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Self Esteem: A Powerful Weapon

The quality of keeping the trust on oneself is termed self-esteem. In other words, you can call it discovering the positive qualities within. The situations where you feel very low and ignored can be really depressing and coping with them needs self confidence. However, quite a few people realize their ability to overcoming such circumstances.

People with low self-esteem tend to live with anxiety, and they have the nature of changing the attitudes as desired by the people. Worrying factors often develop assuming ignorance from the society; failure; feel of being worthless, etc., and they may affect the mental status. Tough competitions and being into it can lead to depression. There are few techniques that can be practiced overcoming these situations and one such option is reading the related literature.

Lack of confidence is usually observed when a person experiences failure in the relationships, profession and sometimes even in the social circle. And at times, when you do not take this problem very seriously, it can show the way to undergo some psychological therapies. I suggest, rather than making the situation worse, why not build up your confidence and get motivated to fight such situations.

If you are among those self-confident people, you will be admired by many. Not only within, but it can be developed when you have some goal in the life. Aimless life is the biggest culprit to depression, you are sure to feel very low and lone. The biggest way to feel confident and overcome low self-esteem is ignorance.

Being ignorant of what people feel and talk about you can be the biggest achievement, you can truly discover the courage that you have. Life’s really too short and there are several things to be done. And you can reach your destination only if you are very high with your confidence. Without having the harmony with our positivity and our surroundings, achieving any goal is little impossible.

You must have the ability to ignore how you look and how you are accepted by the people, and this is possible only when you have self-esteem. Sometimes when you consider people and their opinions about you, at times, you feel very low. So in simple words leading a happy and satisfied life is totally dependent on what you are and how positively you take the criticism.

The main secret to leading a very happy life is improving the mindset. Regardless of what people talk about you, it is more important what you feel about you. The practice of self-motivation cannot be increased by any kind of drug or supplement. It demands your self-confidence and, unless you do not have trust on your ability, no other external factor can help you. Self-esteem is the way of thinking and the attitude that we show towards our life. It reflects the deepest vision of our ability to perform any act. To eliminate the stress completely from the life, it is important that you observe all the factors that disturb you. This can be very challenging but not impossible.

Realizing all the negative facts and ignoring is the only way to dealing with the situations. Taking help from some motivational literatures that can really guide you to build up your self-esteem. There are several sites that provide such material, but not all are too useful. Most of them are either waste and few are meant to increase your anxiety. To get more guidance on improving your self-confidence, visit: http://www.selfesteemawareness.com

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Understanding The Causes Of Low Self Esteem Can Help In Recovery

Low self esteem hits all most everyone some time in their life. Even the most glamorous, have trouble with it. For some it comes early in life during childhood or as a teenager. For others it may show up in the adult years. Understanding it and the causes of low self esteem are important in overcoming it.

Self esteem, be it bad or good is something we learn. During the early years, self esteem is most influenced by parents. And, while they don’t mean it, sometimes that influence can be hurtful. Parents who speak with others about their children’s behavior or looks, often do so when the child is around. They should beware. The child may overhear the conversation and feel they are inadequate, stupid or even ugly. Parents must be mindful of their children at all times.

Through time, human lifestyle has become more busy. Parents are often both working, sometimes more than one job, while trying to keep up with a social life and raising their children. This leads to a feeling of time pressure and fatigue. But, no matter how tired you are, you must make time for your child or children. Acting uninterested, ignoring his needs and desires can leave him with a feeling of unimportance.

There is no doubt that emotional and physical abuse lead to feelings of low self worth as does continued criticism. Physical appearance in adults, as well as children, can lead to temporary or permanent scaring on the inside. Even a pimple on a first date can lead to feelings of ugliness. And for adults who are unemployed there can be a feeling of inadequacy, especially when trying to support a family.

Some characteristics of low self esteem include avoiding a social life, a disturbed or depressed appearance and eating disorders leading to anorexia or obesity. You may fail to realize your own potential, be afraid to develop your own opinions or to take on responsibility.

Someone who is suffering from self esteem problems should feel free to ask for help from friends and family and, when necessary, look for professional help. It is important to avoid negative people and to keep positive. Writing down the good things that happen every day helps to dwell on the positive instead of the negative.

There is no one cure for depression and feelings of inadequacy, but understanding the causes of low self esteem can help to turn it around. If you know of someone suffering or if indeed you are having trouble yourself, try to locate the contributing causes and limit or, if possible, eliminate them. Positive reinforcement, praise, love and kindness can help lead to recovery.

causes of low self esteem This is significantly compounded when comparisons are made with those who are perceived to be better looking. And for adults who are unemployed there can be a feeling of inadequacy, especially when trying to support a family. Discovering the causes of low self esteem may not be the cure, but it certainly can help someone to turn their life around.



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Raise Self Esteem To Achieve More In Life

Within today’s image conscious society, you will need to do all that you can to raise self esteem in yourself and those people you care about. Oftentimes, you’re made to feel inadequate simply because you do not wear the latest styles or drive a high class car. The truth is you are a deserving human being even not having those products. If you happen to suffer from low self esteem, here are four things you can do to rise above it.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Individuals: It is unfortunate but many people start out comparing themselves to other individuals when they are young. Their parents, or several other loved ones, will tell them that they aren’t as good as somebody else and that they should really try to be more like them in the effort to get them to improve in conduct or skill.

The problem with this is there will generally be people who are better than you at an activity, have access to extra options, or are in a superior job situation. Comparing yourself to other individuals is really a self-defeating and pointless act. Delight in your very own strengths and very good traits.

Remember Your Successes: One more way you can raise self esteem is to consider when you attained an objective or acquired other positive results in life. Far too often we reflect on the occasions when we failed and we begin to think that we can do absolutely nothing right. The truth is that you’ve probably had just as many successes in life as you have had setbacks. Take out a piece of paper and start writing them down and examine them anytime you start to truly feel bad about yourself.

Associate with Constructive Individuals: Negative people are individuals who exclusively see what is completely wrong with the world. If you happen to associate with those who are negative, pessimistic, and have a bad frame of mind, you’ll absorb these traits into yourself. This may lead to judging everything around you as poor as well as your own self. Preferably, associate with constructive and supportive individuals. Their great nature will enable you to really feel better about everyday life and yourself.

Give Back: One of the most effective ways to improve your self esteem would be to make a constructive contribution to something. This goes beyond giving funds. Volunteering and assisting others will help you really feel good about the positive difference that you are producing in other people’s lives. You will find lots of options available. Look around your local area for associations or programs that need to have an extra set of hands.

It may require some time before you raise self esteem great enough that it is apparent. Nevertheless, with concerted, daily effort you are going to really feel much better about yourself before you realize it.

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What Are Some Causes Of Low Self Esteem?

Having a low self-esteem can be a problem that can pursue you through your entire life. It can prevent you from gaining successes in other news way you might otherwise have done very well. It can cause you to become nervous and to lose your confidence in different social settings. It can have a very serious effect upon your life overall, and it is best to battle low self-esteem at its roots. But what exactly are the main causes of low self esteem?

Well, low self-esteem can be as result of many things, and will always result in a feeling of inferiority. One such cause that will result in this feeling will be due to looks. Some people are blessed with good looks while others simply are not. Those that are not can often feel a lot less of themselves when they compare how they look against how others do.

Those who feel they are not very good-looking will look at others who are and this will cause them to lose confidence and feel inferior. This is also a growing problem in modern society where we live in a celebrity obsessed culture. With this obsession with beautiful people all over the world, more and more people are beginning to feel worse within their own skin, and this is certainly not something that we should be advocating.

In the same way as how people will feel bad about themselves to their looks, intelligence is also another serious factor that can affect the way someone feels. If you feel unintelligent compare to your peers then this can lead to a loss of confidence and a buildup of poor self-esteem.

Once again, this sort of situation can lead to people with brain themselves from regular society. They will fail to grasp opportunities because they think they will fail and they will shy away from social situations where their perceived lack of intelligence will be on display.

It is, however, ironic to see that pretty much anyone can suffer from low self-esteem regardless of how they actually look or how intelligent they are. While many people will have low self-esteem due to these factors, even those who rate high in these categories can still develop the problem. This is because deep rooted issues can cause a real effect. For example, if someone was constantly told that they were stupid by their parents, they may continue to believe it as they get older regardless of what they achieve and what they do.

Whatever the cause, low self-esteem is something that can damage someone’s life dramatically, and as such anyone suffering from this problem should seek to get some help in order to move through it.

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What is Self Esteem and How to Tackle Self Esteem Issues

Self esteem is defined as how a person perceives one’s self. These days quite a number of people suffer from self esteem issues, which can exacerbate into more serious health problems like anxiety attacks and depression. These issues are often caused by an overwhelming sense of negativity that people cannot seem to shake off no matter how hard they try. This article will endeavour to explain the underlying issues that have an impact on self esteem, and how one may overcome these problems easily.

It is not uncommon for people to suffer from self esteem related issues every now and then. It only becomes a problem when the issues drag on and worsen over time, and the person ends up developing mental health issues. Low self esteem problems usually begin when your perspective about yourself and the world around you changes and goes on a negative spiral. This can happen when you receive negative criticism about yourself, or blamed for something that you believe you were not a part of. This can also happen if something traumatic had occurred in your formative years that triggers a sense of self loathing.

But the thing you should know is that being adversely affected by the negative things that people might say will do you no good at all. As an adult, you should have the ability to filter out the good from the bad, so whenever someone gives you a negative feedback or criticism you have the choice of either taking it to heart or shrugging it off. If you truly believe that the other person is trying to give you some sensible advice, then consider their words carefully, introspect, and then move on. Do not linger on negative notions and allow them to affect your sense of self worth.

In order to build up a solid, unshakable self esteem, you need to take several things into consideration. The first thing you should always do is be constantly aware of what is being said to you. Do not always take what others say as a put down. Not all criticisms are negative, and if you know who your true friends are, you will know that the criticism is meant to make you a better person.

The second thing you need to do is to always think that the problem does not always necessarily lie with you, but with the critic. Most people tend to make negative comments to make themselves feel good. These people feed off of the negativity that they breed in others, they are prideful to a fault and will always try to make themselves feel better by making someone feel worse off. You need to identify these types of people, and stay away from them if possible.

If staying away from these negative people is not possible, then you should consider this last tip: Be assertive. You need to show them that they do not have any power over you, and that they cannot feed off of your negativity. You can counteract their negative comments with these simple words: “I am sorry you feel that way.” This is a way of showing that you will not allow their comments to affect you negatively.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to love yourself. Love yourself, and you will find that you would have built up an impenetrable suit of armour comprising of solid self esteem.

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Arts and Crafts Boosts Kid’s Self Esteem

A child’s self esteem is built throughout the course of childhood. Although ultimately the child develops her own perceptions of self and builds her own self esteem, reinforcement from the outside world is crucial in fortifying the child’s self assessment.

Appropriate responses to the child support the child’s opinion of herself, “I think that I did a nice job completing this arts and crafts project.” “Yes, you did a terrific job completing your arts and crafts project. I can tell by the quality of the finished piece that you really put your all into it!”

Praise just for the sake of praise isn’t effective in building a child’s self esteem. Kids are very insightful, especially teens, and even the most enthusiastic praise will ring hollow if it is not attached to something meaningful. “Wow, you are amazing!” “Why, what did I do?”

Creative activities such as arts and crafts provide an outstanding opportunity for adults to help bolster a child’s self esteem. As the child works, the observant adult has almost unlimited opportunities to point out what the child is doing well.

Top ten reasons arts and crafts helps boost a child’s self esteem.

1. Arts and crafts invites the child to experiment with supplies, techniques, and directions that are often foreign and intimidating. Tackling and becoming adept at creative new tasks brings satisfaction and gratification to children of all ages.

2. Arts and crafts encourages children to push themselves to plan and finish an entire project. Children feel a great sense of accomplishment when they are responsible for completing an entire task from A to Z.

3. Arts and crafts classes produce a fertile environment for meeting and interacting with new people. It can be difficult for some children to venture beyond their comfort zones and intermingle with children they don’t know. It is very flattering and a boost to self esteem for children to hit it off and work with new friends.

4. Arts and crafts classes force children to take risk and put themselves and their work “out there”. It is a gamble to create something and show people because there is the possibility of receiving criticism. Children, especially teens are averse to this type of hazard. A supportive arts and crafts trainer creates an environment where children feel comfortable exposing their work. Children who learn how to tackle risk are better suited and more comfortable tackling appropriate risk as adults.

5. Arts and crafts teach open mindedness. Creative questions do not have finite answers like math or physics problems. When doing arts and crafts children learn how to explore the many different possible solutions to the problems that they face. Being imaginative and open minded allows for them to invent solutions that are exciting and inspired. Children gain the confidence to tackle many problems in creative and ingenious ways.

6. Arts and crafts aid in dispelling a child’s “limiting beliefs”. It is very common for children to create ideas about their own abilities that restrict their activities. Thoughts like, “I am not smart enough to do this,” are destructive and chip away at their self esteem. Craft projects teach children how to change damaging preconceived notions. Children learn how much they truly are capable of and build on each experience gaining confidence with each project.

7. Arts and crafts projects illustrate to children that they can achieve success. It is good for children to discover that they can be victorious. Success feels great and inspires children to reach for more and attempt harder and harder tasks.

8. Arts and crafts allows an opportunity for children to let loose and have fun. In a relaxed and non-competitive atmosphere children can explore their carefree and imaginative side. Seeing that they are multidimensional beings contributes to their overall sense of well being and a healthy sense of self.

9. Arts and crafts classes permit children to see themselves in a fresh, new light. It is important that kids have the opportunity to survey many different pursuits. Allowing kids to choose the activities that excite and delight them gives them the confidence to later pursue their own interests and eventually choose meaningful careers and pastimes.

10. Arts and crafts promote a passion for learning! Kids who have expanded their confidence through creativity and developing a healthy self esteem are curious about learning new things. The self assurance that they build doing arts and crafts overflows into all of their endeavors making for a rich and highly satisfying childhood.

Elena Neitlich is a successful mompreneur and owner of www.artsandcraftsmoms.com When you are ready to follow your passion to teach kids and own a small business Become a Certified Arts and Crafts Trainer!



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How to Build Your Self Esteem In a Negative Environment

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Unfortunately, there are some people that we encounter everyday who are just negative people. They can break you down without even trying to or even realizing it. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So who are these negative people that you should avoid?

Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your confidence. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers…all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your morale, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self worth, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self worth and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you, “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means “self change”. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be content and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Deborah Schaefer, publisher of http://www.SuccessOrate.com
the Personal Development Planning Center, is living her passion by helping people improve their lives through her informative, inspirational and motivational writing and resources.



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Self Esteem Issues – Their Growth and How to Overcome Them

Self esteem is how we perceive our self, the way we value our self, the worth we put on our self as a person. Although this has nothing to do with how other people perceive us, it is about how we perceive other people to perceive us.

If we suffer from low self esteem we will feel very lowly about ourselves thus filling us with self doubt. We can end up doubting everything about us, including our appearance, intelligence, capability, how much people like us and the worth of what we have to say. We can feel very lonely and different from other people.

Low self esteem can be caused by many different things. It could be bullying or constantly being put down. Someone, very often a family member, telling the person that they are not doing well enough, that they are useless or worthless or a combination of all of those things.

Whatever the cause is, it makes little, if any, difference to how the person feels. The overwhelming feelings of being a lesser person, inadequate, useless or worthless, and above all – different!

This can happen at any age. Sometimes it can be in the very early, formative years of a child possibly living in the shadow of an older sibling, but could just as easily be at a much later time of life caused through a controlling relationship

These feelings can have a devastating effect on the person’s life, restricting them and stopping them from going to certain places. They may avoid some activities or associating with some people for very often the unnecessary fear of being ridiculed. This can stop them from making relationships or pursuing a particular career.

Abusing somebody, be it by bullying, controlling, putting them down by telling them how useless they are, or in any other way, will understandably give that person doubts about themselves. They will think why do people treat me like that? What is it about me that make others treat me like that? There must be something wrong with me. It is these negative thoughts that are the seeds of low self esteem.

When someone has those self doubts and negative thoughts it effects how they act. They avoid situations where they might feel uncomfortable. They act in a negative way and therefore, get a negative response from others making them feel even more negative. This starts a downward cycle of feeling negative, acting negative, getting a negative response, then feeling even more negative.

How other people perceive the sufferer is of enormous importance to them. Unfortunately, what they imagine others are thinking about them will invariably be negative.

So how can we overcome low self esteem? The first thing we should remember is that it will have probably taken a long time for our self esteem to have sunk so low. Going down that spiral of negative feeling, negative actions, getting negative response, making you feel more negative. So what we need to do is become more positive in the way we feel. As negative feelings grow so do positive feelings. To many of us the thought of changing from feeling and acting negative to positive is a massive step and so it is, but the good news is all we need to do is feel a little bit more positive and then allow that feeling to grow.

The thought of changing negative thoughts to positive ones for anyone suffering from low esteem can be very daunting, but all we need to do is start the process.

I have found with my clients if they can accept the fact that they are not as important to others as they feel they are, it can very often help them to start those positive feelings. It is a fact that the only people we are important to are those who love or care for us. It is ironic that it is these people that we all feel confident and comfortable with. To all others it is unimportant what we look like, what we wear, what we say or how we act, as they are unimportant to us. If we are walking along the street and we see someone fall over or walk into a lamp post we may feel sorry for them or have a little smile, but a few steps further we have seen something in a shop window and that person has gone from our thoughts forever because there are too many other things to think about, and that is how every one reacts.

If we accept what we are like is not that important to other people we need no longer worry about what they think about us, a very positive thought. It is only a start, but very often that first small, positive thought is all that is needed to allow the growing process to begin.

Add a relaxation therapy like hypnotherapy or aromatherapy to help the sufferer become more relaxed and calm, then those feelings can start to change and that negative, downward cycle can turn into an upward, positive one.

Henry is a fully qualified hypnotherapist specialising in emotional problems. For more information on low self esteem and hypnotherapy please go to hypnotherapycounselling.com.

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