What Creates Self-Esteem?

We all wish to feel great about ourselves but most of us go about this in the methods that will never create self-esteem.

Do you believe that you’ll have high self-esteem when:

? You make a great deal of cash?

? You attain a high position in your work?

? You’ve an expensive automobile or an costly house?

? You’re well-known?

? You discover the right relationship?

? You obtain approval from the important people inside your life?

While all of these can result in momentary good feelings, none of them create a deep and abiding sense of self-esteem.

Self-esteem actually has nothing to do together with your achievements or with other people. Self-esteem results from two things regarding your inner relationship with yourself:

? How you see your self

? How you treat yourself

Richard, a client of mine, is a very successful businessman. He is wealthy, lives is really a big house, has costly cars, a lovely wife and 3 kids. But Richard consulted with me because of his low self-esteem. He was perplexed that he continued to feel so inadequate in spite of all that he had achieved and all that he had.

As we worked together, it became apparent that, no matter what the outer truth was, Richard continued to see himself as the inadequate child his father told him he was. His inner dialogue was frequently self-critical, just as his father had been with him. And not only did Richard constantly judge himself as his father had judged him, he treated himself as his father had treated him ? ignoring his own feelings and requirements. As a result, Richard was usually looking to others for the attention and approval that he didn?t receive from his father and was not giving to himself. Instead of being a loving parent to the child within him, he was a harsh and inattentive inner parent.

Jackie, another client of mine, is a extremely effective actress. Yet fame and fortune have not given her self-esteem. No matter how many people tell her how beautiful and talented she is, she still feels inadequate and insecure most of the time. This is simply because, on the inner level, Jackie is constantly telling herself that she is stupid. ?How could I have made that stupid remark!? ?How could I have acted so stupid?? Mirroring her mother?s own self-judgments and her judgments toward Jackie, she is continuously putting herself down. Until Jackie learns to see herself via eyes of truth rather than eyes of judgment, she will continue to feel inadequate and insecure.

It may make it simpler to see how you produce your own high or low self-esteem if you believe of your feeling self as a child within. No matter how a lot you achieve or how much approval you get from other people, if you are treating your inner child badly ? by ignoring your feelings and judging your self – you will continue to feel inadequate. If you continue to see your self via the distorted eyes of your parents, siblings, peers or teachers, and continue to treat yourself the way they treated you or the way they treated themselves, you will continue to have low self-esteem. If you open to seeing the truth of who you truly are ? a beautiful divine soul who just wants to love ? then you will treat your self as you would treat anyone whom you saw as a beautiful divine soul. When you take loving action inside your own behalf, you’ll feel valued instead of inadequate. Loving actions might consist of:

? Speaking up for your self with others and telling your truth without blame or judgment in conflict situations.

? Taking care of your body via eating well, getting sufficient exercise, sufficient sleep, and so on.

? Creating a balance between work, rest, play and creative time.

? Treating your self and others with respect and compassion rather than with judgment.

? Attending to – instead of ignoring – your own feelings and requirements.

? Taking the time to pray and meditate.

? Selecting to notice your thoughts and practicing inner self-discipline regarding your thoughts.

When taking loving action inside your own behalf replaces your inattentive and judgmental behavior toward yourself, you will feel high self-esteem.

Learn more about Self Esteem. Stop by Our site where you can find out all about Depression And Low Self Esteem and what it can do for you.



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